The last year has been tough for me, it’s been the first year that I have never pb’d (or PR’d for the American’s amongst us) . Although I realise the reasons for this it still hurts and watching my pace and endurance desert me has been a sobering experience. I always knew it was inevitable,  at my age, that Father Time would come calling but it doesn’t soften the blow when the he arrives.  Funnily enough after two years of bad injuries torpedoing my season it’s an injury free year which has destroyed me.  2019 will be remembered for all the wrong reasons, many visits to the Doctors convinced I had either heart issues, blood problems or just plain good old fashioned ‘killer’ man-flu , although the man-flu was confirmed twice during the year my blood and heart all tested ok. Maybe it’s a case of  ‘eating some concrete‘  to  harden up or some ‘suck it up pills‘  as recommended by David Goggins. ( https://davidgoggins.com/ ) Whatever the reason the year descended, monthly , with times I had not run for many years becoming the norm.

2019 started badly with a 1:22 at Darlington half. This was the first time I had run over 80 minutes for 6-7 years and although it was good for a top 10 finish (just) it was a disappointing result. I did manage to run sub 80 minutes at the Joondalup half and , with hindsight, this was probably the run of  the year for me, again a top 10 finish and a reasonable paced race. I raced five 10k’s over the year , starting with a 36 minute finish before dipping just under 36 minutes on the next two, albeit just under, before two disappointing 37 minute finishes. Not somewhere I thought I’d be so quickly after running 34 minutes regularly a few years ago? Marathon season was another mixed bag. At Rottnest I managed to sneak under three hours with a 2:58 and 7th place finish, which was a fair result but at the City to Surf a few months later I only improved my time a few minutes to 2:55. Again this was the slowest I’d ran this event for many years ,albeit it was a controlled race and a good split between the first and second half so maybe I’m being hard on myself ?

To cap off a bad year my favourite race of the year , the 6 inch trail ultramarathon , was cancelled due to the extreme heat in Perth over December and the risk of a fire. ( http://www.6inchtrailmarathon.com/ ) I’d managed to put together a few good weeks of training (relatively) and was hoping to break 4 hours for the 9th on the course, this will have to wait until later in the year now ?

So was has 2020 got to offer in the way of challenges  ?  The first one is in February , a small matter of a 200miler called the Delirious West ( http://deliriouswest200miler.com.au/)  I entered this event when entries first opened in March 2019, I think? I was the first to enter and managed to enter before entries had even opened by finding a link on the interweb , when searching for the race details, much to the angst of the race director!  Anyhow here we are now 10 months later and the race is weeks away and I’m probably at my lowest ebb for many months, not a good combination. On the bright side a 200 mile race is mainly mental , apparently , which is lucky as physically I’m nowhere near where I need to be, albeit I have a few weeks to prepare. I did lash out on a nice running vest at the Kathmandhu sales so I’ll at least look the part. I probably need to think about other ‘stuff’ for the event as it’ll probably take 3-4 days to finish, vaseline comes to mind by the bucket load !!

I’d written off the Australia Day Ultra ( http://australiadayultra.com/ ) at this stage as I’m still recovering from a head cold shared by no3 Daughter a few weeks ago. Again , just as I was getting up a full head of steam , I’ve been derailed and have not put on the trainers for a few days, with little chance of that changing this week.  Of course if I can conjure up a Lazarus like recovery it could be on the cards but confidence is low, unless I can get some of those ‘suck it up’ pills from Mr. Goggins? This was how I started 2019, a DNS at the ADU, albeit I had paid for that one, this year I’ve kept my entry money in my pocket for the time being, maybe you can teach an old runner new tricks?

Goals for 2020, well the first one is to survive the Delirious West of course. Then we’ll be back into the racing season, Darlington half in March, a few 10k’s between then and the Rottnest Marathon in June, Chevron City to Surf Marathon in August and the Perth Running Festival (for the fist time, finally?) in October.  Maybe a half or two somewhere in there and finally the 6 inch ultra in December. I may go back and revisit the UWA Light horse in April and try and finish the 12 hour race, my only ever DNF (so far?), we’ll see ? All that was easy to type but first thing first I need to find my running mojo. It has eluded me many times over the last few years and,  combined with injuries,  left me questioning why I do what I do. All runners must eventually reach a point in their career when it all just becomes too hard, motivation can certainly wane when you know you’ll only ever be running slower each time you race. For me running has always been about racing your old self, the best you could do , and beating that time. Racing has always been my main reason for running and now , as I move back to the pack, that goal is disappearing. Of course I can always set season targets like continuing a long sub 3 marathon streak or trying to run sub 37 minutes for 10k or 80 mins for a half, but ultimately these are all times I would have scoffed at a few years ago. It does make the early mornings and double days seem that little bit harder, nigh impossible lately  truth be told.  This has the double whammy of hastening your retreat to the pack because you’re not putting in the time on legs, gotta’ love paying the piper ?

As I have said many times in 2019 this is quite a depressing post but , until I can get back in the game mentally , this does seem to have become the norm of late which is why I have been posting less than usual. It’s hard enough writing these posts I can only imagine reading them must be as challenging. No worries, I’ll make a promise to my readers (reader ? , Mum?) to try and be more positive in the future and maybe even start to rekindle my love of running which got me started on this blog in 2016. Looking back at those early posts I miss that ‘youthful (I’m not sure a 50 year old can be described as youthful??) enthusiasm , trying to hold myself back from running three times a day and gleefully describing PB adventures in all distances. Those days are gone and I need to reset my goals to make them at least achievable.  I think the first one at the moment is to just start running again after three days off.  Now is not a good time to start looking for my mojo again because in less than 6 weeks I’ll have over 200 miles to look for it and that may be a very painful experience.  On the bright side it will make one hell of a post. Right, where did I put those ‘suck it up pills’ ………

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